Intermittent reinforcement
Covert narcissists, individuals who display narcissistic traits but conceal them behind a more subtle or hidden façade, utilize intermittent reinforcement as a manipulative strategy. By intermittently rewarding or punishing others, they can maintain control over them and keep them engaged in the relationship.
Intermittent reinforcement is a psychological concept that pertains to the use of occasional or unpredictable rewards or punishments to reinforce a particular behaviour. This approach creates a pattern of reinforcement that is irregular, making the behaviour more persistent and resistant to extinction.
In intermittent reinforcement, rewards or punishments are not consistently delivered after every instance of the desired behaviour.
Instead, they are provided sporadically or randomly. This creates a sense of uncertainty and anticipation in the individual, leading to heightened motivation to engage in the behavior.
Covert narcissists often employ intermittent reinforcement to manipulate and control the emotions and behaviors of those around them. They may use intermittent praise, affection, or acts of kindness to reinforce desired behaviors or keep others hooked in the relationship. By making these rewards unpredictable, the narcissist keeps the person guessing and seeking their validation, creating a cycle of dependence and seeking approval.
At the same time, covert narcissists may also use intermittent punishment or withdrawal of affection as a means of exerting control. By periodically withholding attention, love, or support, they can create feelings of insecurity and anxiety in their targets. This intermittent negative reinforcement makes you desperate for validation and more willing to comply with the narcissist’s demands.
The use of intermittent reinforcement by covert narcissists creates a powerful psychological dynamic.
The intermittent nature of the rewards and punishments increases your emotional investment in the relationship, as you constantly seek the elusive positive reinforcement. This leads to an addictive bond, where the individual becomes more attached and reliant on the narcissist’s approval.
Over time, the effects of intermittent reinforcement become detrimental to your well-being. You may have increased stress, anxiety, and a diminished sense of self-worth. The inconsistent nature of the reinforcement leads to confusion and self-doubt, as you struggle to understand the narcissist’s motivations and expectations.
Recognizing and breaking free from the cycle of intermittent reinforcement with a covert narcissist can be challenging. It requires gaining awareness of the manipulative tactics at play, establishing healthy boundaries, and seeking support from trusted friends, family, or professionals.
Ultimately, it is important to prioritize self-care, rebuild self-esteem, and cultivate relationships that are based on mutual respect and genuine emotional support.
You have taken the first step today to bring awareness to your situation. You can stay on your path to sustainable peace one day at a time. One moment at a time.