Blaming their victims is one of the many tactics covert narcissists employ to deflect responsibility and protect their distortion and perversion of reality.
It is done for their comfort and control. They are the rotten apples, in the bag, at the bottom of the fridge. Spreading their foul odour, bacteria, molds and other pathogens that are not visible to the naked eye.
Narcissistic personality disorder is on the psychopath spectrum. This behaviour is not normal for humans. It’s an adaptation for them to use your goodwill without consequences. It’s impossible to press charges when someone has damaged you emotionally and psychologically.
Covert narcissists mask themselves behind a façade of humility, victimhood, and selflessness. They employ subtle and manipulative tactics to exert control and gain power over others.
Including:
Blame
Covert narcissists blame their victims for everything and anything. Especially those who take care of them.
“It’s your fault I watch pornography.”
“You made me mad”
It’s one of the ways of controlling, taking no responsibility and putting the fault on you for their bad behaviour. They can be the good guy. The helpful person. The great family man. The great wife. None of this is true. The only truth is you learning now, and reconnecting to your soul. It never left you. You did not make a mistake. They manipulated reality by using tactics. Something you would never do so it makes it confusing. Especially when you gave your heart to someone. It can happen to all of us.
Shifting Blame: Covert narcissists are skilled at shifting the blame onto others. They twist events and distort facts to make it appear as though they are the innocent party and you are at fault. By doing so, they avoid taking responsibility for their actions or any negative consequences that may arise. They can be the good guy. The good parent to impress friends, children, family, strangers. It is a clever sly disguise but nothing to do with who you are. What your values are.
Your head spins. Not theirs. They create chaos meant for you.
This is information only for you to learn-not to share. If the narcissist was interested in changing, growing and learning they would have already.
Now, you are becoming aware so you can be yourself again and never doubt yourself again.
It’s best to stay on your journey of recognizing the patterns. It’s the first step in finding yourself again to build your own safe foundation. A sustainable foundation to feeling peace again. You can untangle from the experience of doubting yourself and your reality.
Be your own first priority each day and applaud that you are in gentle learning mode. It’s not easy but taking a step in your own self fulfilment is your best initial medicine. You have done nothing wrong but are now ready to softly see things differently for yourself. There is no rush. Keep going and keep learning.