We all have bad thoughts and those ideas seem strong. Our brains are wired to find solutions to avoid suffering. But, those thoughts are not always right. Sometimes your brain is not your best friend. Sometimes it is a bully and it feels very scary. Let’s support each other especially in the tough times.
If someone is reaching out to you during a time they feel suicidal, it will feel terrible. Try to keep yourself in check as best you can. Sometimes there are signs, sometimes there are not. It may have been a situation or a belief that came up suddenly or it may have been in their thoughts for a while.
Listen to them. Tell them you are grateful that they reached out to you and can anytime.
The body can usually calm down in about 15 minutes after being triggered. So ask them to wait. Be gentle with them and yourself.
This is a very scary situation and one most of us are not equipped to handle.
Remind your loved one, friend they are having thoughts and feelings.
The emotions they have are not true. Things always change and we keep going.
When the problem is how we feel, our minds may offer suicide as a solution. It’s saying, “You feel bad. I know how to make that stop. You won’t hurt anymore if you’re not here.”
If the situation is that too many things have piled up at once, it can feel like it’s just too much and that there’s no way we can handle it.
Sometimes we might think that we are a burden to others or that they’d be better off without us. Solution? Don’t be here anymore. But, that is not true. No one’s life is better when someone they care for leaves this earth by suicide.
The second issue is that intense negative emotions like sadness, hopelessness, and anxiety shut down creativity, making it hard for our brains to come up with solutions, alternatives or ideas. They get fixated onto suicide and trick us into thinking it is the only available option.
Suicidal thoughts are the mind’s misguided attempt to fix a problem. We do not have to listen to them, and we do not have to act on them. They feel strong because we are in a vulnerable state.
It may be difficult for you to have rational thoughts too because your body and brain will be panicking. Do what you need to do to stay calm as best you can and recognize that you can do your best in a difficult time. Tell them you need them to stay on earth and they will be okay.
Listen and repeat how important they are. Remind them they have nothing to be ashamed about.
Be sure to follow up with a safety plan to help your friend/loved one. It can include professional help and a reminder that they are heard. If you don’t pick up the phone when they reach out, reassure them that you will always be available, and if they can’t get in touch with you to wait.
We can heal ourselves and each other by learning and modeling.
Support them by encouraging them to build their own sustainable foundation of calm.Stay focussed on yours too and gently share what you learn.