People pleasing is about your inability to feel uncomfortable with normal human emotions.
People-pleasing, is a defense mechanism against discomfort. It’s the unconscious avoidance of normal emotions that make us uneasy, such as guilt, sadness, or the fear of someone else’s disappointment. The irony lies in the fact that, in our quest to feel better, we often fall into the trap of prioritizing everyone else’s feelings over our own.
Create your sustainable calming box foundation by becoming aware that you can move on from the dangerous effects of this behaviour. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person to grow and find yourself.
True kindness is not making others feel better at the expense of our own well-being.
Sacrificing your own wants and needs means losing your authentic self. This leads to a melt down up of your sustainable platform and foundation of calm. The essence of you does not need to be suffocated.
It’s about finding a balance where we can be compassionate towards others without sacrificing our own mental and emotional health.
Realize and recognize that being a good person doesn’t equate to putting everyone else first.
It will feel uncomfortable but that is ok. It is a new habit. A habit of calming yourself to benefit all. The thoughts are only thoughts. The emotions are only emotions. You can label them. “This is a thought.” You can talk to them “Hello thought” this gives you space to process and connect to your authentic self.
To break free from the shackles of people-pleasing, it’s crucial to confront and tolerate uncomfortable emotions.
The next time you’re faced with a request you don’t want to fulfill, challenge yourself to say no. Let the feelings of guilt or disappointment rise within you, and resist the urge to immediately suppress them.
Give yourself about 90 seconds to acknowledge these emotions. During this brief window you can engage in a powerful dialogue with your own mind. When negative thoughts arise, telling you that you’re an idiot or that others will be mad at you, take control.
Remind yourself that these thoughts are not facts; they are just thoughts. You can even categorize them as such: “This is a thought,” or “This is a feeling.” By doing so, you empower yourself to rewire your beautiful brain. It is doing what it thinks it should to protect you. However, that behaviour is not serving you or anyone else
Avoiding discomfort doesn’t make it disappear; it merely prolongs the cycle.
Those emotions are there for a reason, even if the original trigger no longer exists. By facing them head-on, you are building a new skill – the ability to take control of your life and find freedom within your calming box of your sustainable platform to find contentment.
People-pleasing is a habit you can practice shifting.
Embrace discomfort, allowing yourself to feel, and challenging the negative narratives that hold you back. Gently, you reclaim control of your life and create a foundation for lasting well-being and freedom. Try a little bit today and applaud yourself for trying. Try again tomorrow and the day after. Keep going to build your life of contentment and peace.