The covert narcissist is devoted to their dysfunction and their disorder. You don’t need to be.
The covert narcissist stands out as a deceptive manipulator. While overt narcissists display their grandiosity and demand admiration clearly, covert narcissists employ subtler tactics. For them, the game is about controlling you.
At first glance, the covert narcissist may seem empathetic, even caring. However, beneath this facade lies a relentless critic. Their criticisms are insidious because they’re not always glaringly obvious. Instead of overt insults, they employ underhanded comments, sly comparisons, or masked as ‘constructive criticism.’
Your partner constantly comments on your clothing choices, suggesting they’re ugly inappropriate.
They may tell you it’s for your own good. Or they are ‘just being honest’. Which is complete nonsense.
On the surface, these remarks appear as genuine concern or advice, they’re rooted in the covert narcissist’s need to exert control and superiority.
They talk about other men or other women. How they are much better, more handsome, more beautiful than you. More successful.
The insidious nature of these criticisms is their cumulative effect on your self-worth.
Over time, the constant drip of negativity, especially from one who is supposed to support you and love you, erodes your self worth.
You internalize their criticisms, viewing yourself as flawed, unworthy, even unlovable. Every critique, masked as concern or advice, becomes another unhealthy hole to your self-esteem.
What’s even more damaging is the covert narcissist’s ability to foster dependency.
By consistently undermining your self-worth, they position themselves as the authority figure in your life. You start to believe that they know better, that their judgment is superior. This creates a dangerous cycle wherein you seek their validation, even as they continue to chip away at your sense of self.
Recognizing the tactics of a covert narcissist is the first step towards breaking free from their control. Understand that their criticisms are not about your shortcomings but rather their need for dominance. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who uplift you and remind you of your inherent worth.
Keep building your sustainable platform of self worth, calm and peace.
While the overt narcissist’s grandiosity may be easier to spot, the covert narcissist’s subtle manipulations are as damaging, if not more so. By understanding their tactics and prioritizing your well-being, you can reclaim your sense of self and break free from their silent chains of control.
Freedom comes from creating your self worth without inside influences. You can practice today and keep going.